THE TRUTH SPEAKS
Shirts off, pants on, that’s the way we like to whaaaat! The Truth is back baby, and he’s bringing Shirtless with him!
Before we get to that though, did you hear about all the new stuff announced at San Diego Comic Con this year? Well, listen to the latest podcast to hear our dope ass thoughts on the matter, FREE OF CHARGE. On with it!
What is this all about?
You know him, you love him….it’s Shirtless Bear-Fighter! If you read my award winning review of issue #1, you know that we left Shirtless shirtless, but not pantsless, battling it out with two bears in the city streets. Will Shirtless come out victorious? Well, does a bear shit in the woods, fool?
Shirtless is down, but not out, as agent Silva has to rescue a civilian before the airstrike hits the city. Is Shirtless too late? The bombs are dropping!
But our hero comes to in time, and in the manliest of moves, uses those two falling bombs with his bare hands to bear down full force on those bears. Ka-Bear!
The President has now given Shirtless his full support, and he is off to do his thing. Agent Silva tries to come with, but he refuses, she reminds him too much of…..he’s off in his Bear Plane.
He fights bears in the streets of Houston, Circus Bears in Atlanta, Party Bears in New Orleans, Stuffed Bears in New York, The Chicago Bears in Chicago, even the Gay Bears in San Francisco. Shirtless bests them all.
Toxicology reports come back, showing that the bear’s stomachs were full of…..BACON! And not no ordinary bacon…magic bacon, cured with Southern Sorcery, with the power to place the receiver in the thrall of the giver. And there is only one place on Earth to get it…
A quick cut to the Fuzzy Wipes TP factory shows the bad guy scheming schemes, as bad guys do. All is going according to plan, as plans do.
Shirtless confronts the Hillbilly Warlock in his trailer…..scratch that, lair. Shirtless is here to talk, not to fight, but instead, he falls under the spell of the primordial pork.
Shirtless is about to be forced to butter up the warlock’s breasticles, but his inner manliness, sorrow, and did I mention manliness are too strong for the bedeviled bacon, and he breaks the spell Now under threat of violence, the warlock comes clean that it was the TP man who done bought the bacon from him, to get his revenge!
Shirtless realizes what has happened, rushes back to his bear home, to find it torched! Noooooooo! Whack! Noooooo! Shirtless Bear Brother whacked him over the head, knocked him out, and is taking him for a ride!
Fortunately, Agent Silva saw what happened, and is glad she followed her instincts.
KABLAM! The fun romp continues. If you can’t enjoy this, well, check to see if you left your soul somewhere.
And here I sit, freshly shorn, my beloved beard accidentally shaved off. I must admit, I shed a small tear each time I gaze upon Shirtless bountiful face muff.
Til next time!
THE TRUTH HAS SPOKEN
Reviewed by The Truth
Shirtless Bear-Fighter #2
Written by Jody Leheup and Sebastian Girner
Art by: Nil Vendrell, Mike Spicer, and Dave Lanphear
Published by Image Comics
Release Date: 7/26/17