THE TRUTH SPEAKS
Happy 4th of July folks, The Truth has a brisket going for the first time. However, being a master chef, you can have full faith and confidence that it will be among the all time great briskets. 30 hours in the sous vide. Suck it, BBQ purists.
What is this all about?
A mysterious and diverse family holds court in a high-rise penthouse. A murder with an ancient relic. And then a priest fell out of the sky! A bizarre beginning to an intriguing tale. SPOILER-FILLED review below. If you want the spoiler-free synopsis, scroll down to Final Words.
Sacred Creatures is a new release by Pablo Raimondi and Klaus Janson on Image Comics. Art is headed by Pablo as well, this project took a long time to come together, but it seems to be worth the wait. This book sank its teeth into me in quick order.
Josh in a young father to be, in love, and desperate for gainful employment. He falls under the control of the mysterious family…..you know, so far, I don’t know any of their names. Until further notice, they are the Addams Family so I don’t drive myself batshit saying the old hag and the creepy kid.
Morticia has a touch that puts their victim in a deep sleep, then leaves them unable to resist the Addams family commands…something to that effect anyways. Josh misses his all important job interview due to being out like someone who dipped WAY too deep in the pan of pot brownies. He’s forced by Pugsley to make the metaphorical or is it literal, deal with the devil. He insists they shake on it too. Josh doesn’t understand it, but Pugsley says he’s going to kill someone with a stone dagger someone he doesn’t know will give him. The deal is simply that Josh gives his slaves the dagger immediately afterward. Uhhh…whaaa? But Josh is compelled to shake on it, he needs another shot at the job interview, and the kid says that will be his end of the deal.
The story jumps around more than Pulp Fiction. We know that Josh did commit the murder (of an important humanitarian, Naviel Fitzgerald. As he is about to be cuffed, a damn priest falls from the top of the building smashing into the roof of a car, but he gets up without a scratch. Hot on his tail are two….uh….giant demon sphynx kitties? Damn straight.
The priest saves him from the kerfuffle, leaping through the air like the damn Hulk, but they take the dagger with them. The deal has been broken. As Pugsley had promised, but I had not revealed, Josh starts to suffer the effects of breaking the deal, sharp recurring pain to the brain, which is promised to get worse until he kills himself.
Oh, we find out that Pugsley’s name is Lurco. Sweet. Josh starts having flashbacks. He’s seen the priest before. (Another name: Father Adrian.) At the museum (he got that second chance at the interview after all), we see that the boss has the touch (he is under the Addams control), and the damn British Ambassador is there….and he somehow knows Josh! We see that the Ambassador (Whitaker) is a damn Addams too! They’re everywhere!
Whitaker gives a bit of exposition, hinting at something greater going on, but posits that Josh is nothing special, just another insignificant man, and triggers something in Josh with another touch, sending him off into a panic attack and out of another interview. Morticia (Claire) ensnares him into a bar. He’s lost, and completely susceptible to them. For funsies, another Addams, Sophia, tells Josh he’s going to bang the BBW a few stools down. Sure enough, he can’t not do it, and they end up banging in the alley, where he wakes up pantsless.
His life continues falling apart at the seams when Julia is home when he gets there, wreaking of drink and sex. She bounces, life sucks yo.
His school mate shows up. Josh looks like shit by now, the touch has overtaken him, he’s pale, and black veins are all over his body. They head out, and Josh snaps into a rage at the drop of a hat, again, the touch is farking him up. The friend takes charge…he knows what’s going on, and has someone who can help. Lucius Hamilton. He’s an Addams too, so now we know they ain’t the Addams. They’re the Hamiltons.
Lucius is the brains, and he has the dagger. Full circle, boom. This was an awful convulsed plot to get the dagger in Josh’s hand. Why is he so important to this plan? And why is it all happening? Lucius says all Josh has to do is deliver the dagger to Naviel, and his life is going to be peaches n’ cream. But Lucius does HATE Naviel, and Josh can feel that hate, feel it as his own. They have a connection to Josh now.
Flash back to the murder scene. The cops are gathered around the body of Naviel Fitzgerald, who is revealed to be … AN ANGEL!
It would appear perhaps Josh is caught in a battle between heaven and hell.
The first chapter in what promises to be an intriguing tale. It screams passion project. The plot jumps around and is a bit confusing. The big reveal at the end confirmed where I thought the story was going and has me eagerly awaiting more.
Well crafted has the look and feel of something that could be on tv for sure. The Hamilton family is a varied cast of characters for the author to play around with, and Josh is a sympathetic person caught in a bad spot.
Remember to keep your fingers and toes safe when playing around with boom-booms this holiday. Better yet, abandon the family and hole up for a PopN’Comics marathon instead. We love you WAY more than those losers anyway.
THE TRUH HAS SPOKEN
Reviewed by The Truth
Sacred Creatures #1
Written by Pablo Raimondi and Klaus Janson
Art by: Pablo Raimondi, Chris Chuckry, and Tom Orzechowski
Published by Image
Release Date: 7/5/17