THE TRUTH SPEAKS
Are you ready to rock out with your cock out? Are you prepared for a joy ride through Bear Country?
Groom your beard, and for god’s sake man, put on some pants! It’s Shirtless Bear-Fighter time!
What is this all about?
The Truth is here to guide you through the world of Shirtless Bear-Fighter! A giant, burly, ursine fellow, the only man who can save Major City from the onslaught of beavers…….no, wait, scratch that. BEARS!
Standard superhero fare this is not, and I for one couldn’t be happier. This is a silly, silly book.
After Major City is attacked by a giant bear, Stoner Dave with Animal Control is out of his league. Hell, the National Guard can’t handle this! A crack team of FBI agents is dispatched to the forest to find the city’s only hope….Shirtless Bear-Fighter! The hero makes his entrance to save a couple being viciously attacked by a forest bear, whom he quickly dispatches with a suplex.
The man is butt ass naked, and sports a thick black beard that would put any lumberjack to shame. Thankfully or sadly, depending upon your disposition, his phallus is tastefully blurred out throughout.
Shirtless’ background story is revealed (That manly beard? Yeah, born with it. Suck it, baby face!), having been abandoned in the woods and raised by a family of bears in their bear town. All was well, but then….something happened….something bad….and Shirtless swore from that day forth to fight all bears.
The FBI pleads with Shirtless, even offering a lifetime supply of 100% pure male syrup and the finest flapjacks money can buy (don’t you DARE call them pancakes) to save the city. Shirtless can’t be convinced, his place is here, protecting the forest from the sanctity of his Bear House.
Thankfully, Shirtless remembers his vow, and speeds to the fight aboard his Bear Plane. Shirtless, no longer pantsless, enters the fray, but can he take on TWO BEARS AT ONCE?!?
Meanwhile, at the Fuzzy Wipes Toilet Paper Factory (Don’t rub your ass on a tree like a dumb bear!), we find that a bear from Shirtless’ past has betrayed him, and we meet the mastermind douchebag behind the scenes, plotting Shirtless’ destruction.
Holy lightheartedness Batman! It’s silly. It’s fun. This probably came about during a massive smoke session.
The Truth approves! I’ll be enjoying this limited (5 issue) series.
THE TRUTH HAS SPOKEN
Reviewed by The Truth
Shirtless Bear-Fighter #1
Written by Jody Leheup and Sebastian Girner
Art by: Nil Vendrell, Mike Spicer, and Dave Lanphear
Published by Image Comics
Release Date: 6/21/17